


At Peace

by AlexandriaToHogwarts



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Bedwetting, Breastfeeding, Caregiver Natasha Romanov, Caretaking, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, JARIVS is a Good Bro, Mommy Natasha Romanov, Nightmares, Pacifiers, alternate universe - littles are known, little Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:35:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28904964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexandriaToHogwarts/pseuds/AlexandriaToHogwarts
Summary: Neither of them have put words on the relationship that has been developing between them since Tony and Pepper broke up, but it's there, and it's as fragile as it is exhilarating, so when Nat makes it to Tony's bedroom door, she stops for a minute. She blinks a few times and tries to school her face out of whatever it's doing, between a smile and a nervous smirk. She wants to knock, but she doesn't want to wake up Tony if ever he managed to fall asleep."Sir is rather restless tonight." JARVIS helpfully mentions, the volume of his speakers much lower than that which he'd used in the elevator.That settles it.
Relationships: Natasha Romanov/Tony Stark
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55
Collections: Bulletproof 20/21





	At Peace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shnuffeluv](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shnuffeluv/gifts).



> From your requested tags:  
>  _Lactation Kink_  
>  _Talking about a trauma-induced nightmare_  
>  And a few more I took inspiration from!

"Good night." Natasha whispers as she gets up from the couch they've all been sprawled on all night. 

"Night." Bucky responds in the same hushed way she did. He's petting Steve's head gently, Steve's face slack with sleep. 

Clint nods at her slowly, on the verge of exhaustion too, and Rhodey watches her intently enough that Nat reassures him, "I'll check on him in a bit." 

And with that, she leaves the common room for the elevator, for her floor, intent on cleaning up before going up to Tony's floor for a quick verification that he is indeed sleeping and not still reeling from today's mission. Then she'll get some sleep of her own, hopefully. 

Her floor is always so silent. It's both a curse and a blessing, depending on the day. She never knows which until being alone here becomes too much, the silence too deafening to even hear herself think. Going down a few floors to the common areas, where she's sure to find any one of the boys or even Pepper doing all sorts of things, is the best solution she's found and every day she's grateful for Tony's open arms in inviting them all to move in here. 

She washes her face, splashing cool water over it and watching it drip off her skin in the mirror. She smiles at her reflection, and grimaces when it only exacerbates the dark circles under her eyes. She needs sleep. 

Brushing her teeth takes her another few minutes, and so does getting into the flannel pajamas that Tony got her as half a joke and half an encouragement to get comfortable around the Tower. 

JARVIS starts the elevator up to Tony's floor without her having to say a word, and she shoots a smile up at the little camera in the left corner, as she always does. "Thank you J."

"It is my pleasure, Officer Romanov." 

She smiles still, getting out of the elevator as the doors slide open, and making her way through the unlit hallway of Tony's penthouse. It's so quiet here, too, but somehow, it's comforting this time. Maybe it's the assurance that on this floor, she's not alone either, maybe it's just the knowledge that Tony lives here, either way, Nat pushes the thought away — she needs to check on Tony. 

The battle was properly exhausting, doombots and celestial creatures joining forces to tear through the streets of New York and Thor absent from it all did not help anyone recover from the week-long SHIELD mission they had just completed. 

Neither of them have put words on the relationship that has been developing between them since Tony and Pepper broke up, but it's there, and it's as fragile as it is exhilarating, so when Nat makes it to Tony's bedroom door, she stops for a minute. She blinks a few times and tries to school her face out of whatever it's doing, between a smile and a nervous smirk. She wants to knock, but she doesn't want to wake up Tony if ever he managed to fall asleep. 

"Sir is rather restless tonight." JARVIS helpfully mentions, the volume of his speakers much lower than that which he'd used in the elevator. 

That settles it. Nat pushes the door open, just enough to slip past it. She expects to see Tony's eyes wide open, expects to see him frown at her being here, expects to be told to get out. 

She does not anticipate the sight she's presented with, of Tony frowning, yes, but in sleep, his face torn with pain and wet with tears he's sobbing out almost silently. It shreds her heart enough that before she knows it, she's kneeling by his side on the bed and her palm cups his cheek. 

"Tony?" She bites her lip, "Tony wake up." 

He's shivering and crying still, and she has to shake him awake to make it stop, to make him come back from wherever he went. His eyes flash open and his lips form an "o" like he's ready to scream and his hands… he grabs her wrists tightly enough to hurt before he realizes who she is and lets go. 

"You're okay now," Nat whispers, and then again louder, "It's over, it was just a nightmare, you're okay."

The covers are all sorts of astray, and it means Nat is kneeling right on Tony's mattress and she feels it right before he realizes it himself — it's wet, and his eyes go wide and Natasha reacts on instinct alone. 

"Shhh," she gathers him to herself, and she remembers her caregiving classes of when she finally made it out of the Red Room and decided to take her agency back, and be true to her nature. She remembers the instructors' catchphrases the most, and the motions of taking care of someone so little words become difficult to thread together. 

She hugs Tony to herself, rubbing her nose against his temple and shielding his face with one of her hands, caressing the side of it. 

"Let me take care of you?" 

He's sobbing hard enough for his shoulders to shake, and his face is a mess when she encourages him to press it in her neck. 

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, "so sorry… I couldn't save them— I couldn't… be there…" 

Nat's heart pangs in her chest, her fists tightening momentarily at the grief she can hear in Tony's voice, all a sum of their past missions, and the result of casualties none of them could prevent. She squares her shoulders and forces eye contact, no matter how difficult it is to look right at Tony's torment, and how it echoes her own. He needs her, and that's all she can care about just now. All she has room to think about. It makes her extremities tingle with the need to care for him, and her chest expand with more and more air as she calms down and her headspace settles in, just like his own is starting to show. 

"We're going to go clean you up, and leave this bed for the morning okay? Can you show me your nursery, or should I ask J?" 

It's protocol, especially for SHIELD operatives and consultants, to have a nursery room wherever they choose to live. It's also protocol to have a caregiver around at all times, but Nat isn't surprised Tony went around that one when asking for help is such a difficult task for him on the best of days. She's confident he does have a room though, and everything he would need in it. He's that kind of control freak after all, so when Tony nods slowly, frowning through more tears of embarrassment this time, she gives him a small smile and brushes the wetness off his cheeks. 

"Littles get to be upset Tony, that's okay."

"But—" 

"But I can take care of you, if you let me?" 

He seems to think hard on that for a minute, his face displaying his emotions even more clearly that it usually does the more he sinks into his little age, and Nat feels her heart squeeze again. They haven't put words on their new bond, but she's not surprised they're ending up here, like this, in the end. She isn't surprised and she isn't spooked either, which she would understand if Tony had thought she would. 

"Don't make fun of my walkin'" he lisps, and Natasha smiles again. 

"I won't, I promise." 

"'k." Tony nods, whether at her or to himself makes no difference. He gets to his knees and clumsily gets out of her embrace and out of the bed. 

He looks so awkward standing there with his boxers wet and his face wet and his lips pouting, still upset. Natasha gets up too and rounds the bed to grab his hand gently.

"Come on, show me." 

They slowly walk out and Nat lets Tony show her to his nursery. It's a few doors down the same hallway and for all the sorrow in Tony's eyes, she can't refrain from grinning when he opens the door. 

"You don't like it, you're makin' fun." Tony shakes his head, letting go of her hand to hug himself. 

"Not at all, sweetheart." She hushes him, taking herself by surprise when the pet name rolls off her tongue easily. It seems to settle him just as much as it startled her. It's a good feeling too, being able to soothe him with something so simple. 

Tony's nursery is at least as big as the bedroom they just vacated. It has everything Nat's instructors ever mentioned littles needed, and more. His bed is a big round thing with a small railing going all around it, with pale yellow sheets and more stuffed animals than she's ever seen outside of a toy store. His changing table is painted white with giraffes all over the sides and little monkey knobs on the drawers, and in the corner opposite the bed, there is a bathtub with a baby bath seat to-size and again, more bath toys than Nat has ever seen anywhere else. It's wonderful, and the exhilaration she feels at being able to take care of Tony just right is enough that she draws his unsure frame in a hug again. 

"It's perfect baby, you did good." She tells him, and melts when he finally relaxes. She looks around some more, and it's the way Tony starts squirming in her arms that finally spurs her into action. "Let's get rid of your yucky clothes and get cleaned up, hmm?" 

Tony's eyes are always so big up close, and he looks so unsure when he looks up at her. He nods though, so Natasha pulls him into the room with her and gently closes the door. 

"Arms up?" She asks, tugging his tee-shirt up and off him when he complies. She does the same with his boxers and looks for the same laundry chute all the bedrooms and bathrooms of the tower are equipped with. She smiles at Tony when she finds it, waiting for him to meet her gaze before pushing his wet clothes past the door. 

Tony only looks at her for a few seconds, enough that she knows he's okay with what she just did but then he goes right back to staring at his changing table, or rather, at the shelf next to it. Natasha follows her gaze and again, she finds herself biting her lip, emotion washing over her when she sees the little black and red pacifier there. The fact that it's her colors does not escape her, nor does the yearning in Tony's eyes as he stares at it. 

Carefully, she steps towards it and grabs it off the shelf. 

"Need this?" She says. Tony stomps his foot down at that, all naked that he is, his frown confuses her. She could have sworn—

"Tony don't need it, I want it." He clarifies, which, in little logic certainly is very different, Natasha can see that. She refrains from chuckling, already very aware that in this state Tony's particularly sensitive to mockery however loving. 

"Sorry sweetheart, of course. Here." She goes to hand it to him, but Tony shakes his head so she draws back again, but steps back into his space, studying his face. 

Tony's eyes are back to impersonating that of the cutest puppy, wide and so brown and trusting and… and he opens his mouth for her, so Natasha reacts on instinct, and pushes the rubber of his pacifier into it. 

"Good boy, Tony, that's perfect." She whispers. She can't help it, she kisses his cheek and hugs him again. His skin is cold and he's starting to shiver in place so she keeps herself wrapped around him, rubbing warmth into his naked frame and looks at the camera again, "Would you run the bath and up the temperature in here, J?"

Tony babbles in her neck while they wait and Natasha feels so at peace already. Littles are naturally lighter than caregivers, but she's still shocked to see how easy it is to put him in the bath when Tony's body gets too clumsy to do it alone. It's a rush unlike anything she's ever felt. Classes are one thing, but caring for someone else for the first time in the way she was always meant to is another. 

Even with the pacifier in his mouth, Tony manages to give her such a smile when she starts gently washing him up that if Nat were any different than she is, she would cry from the emotion of it alone. She isn't a crier, but she still needs a moment to take it all in — how they got here and where they'll go next, it makes her hands shake a little. 

She rinses the cold sweat of Tony's nightmare, makes sure his body is free of the scare his bad dream gave him, rubs his skin clean with baby shower gel and distracts him with floating dinosaur toys. 

"You're all set, Tony, clean as a newborn baby." 

That makes Tony giggle somehow, and the pacifier falls into the water with it. 

"Oops." He says, his face lit with glee. 

"Oops, indeed." 

She picks it up and dries it before popping it back in his mouth. Then she picks Tony up, and dries him too. Tony's towel is so soft it pulls a satisfied sigh out of him, and with that, JARVIS starts playing some gentle music that carries them through the next steps of making Tony as comfortable as he can be.

"Where do you keep your pjs, baby?" 

If Nat had any doubts about how thick and soft and perfect Tony's bed was, they're assuaged as soon as she sits on it, patting next to her so Tony will join her. It's like sinking in a cloud, and with pillows and stuffed toys cushioning her back, with Tony's head in her lap, with everything she ever dreamed of getting and everything she ever dreamed of giving any little who would like her enough to trust her like this, emotion once again washes over her. It's too much, it's more than she ever imagined Tony and her would get to, and yet, it's not just right just yet. 

It's a slow realization, a feeling that grows from a tingle to a self-evident truth — Tony's head in her lap moves, his eyes half-closed and his lips moving to suck the pacifier faster, needier than before. He moves to face her stomach, and then again, searching, and Natasha only gets it when Tony is barely awake anymore, yet still restless. She gets it when he loses the pacifier on his next breath, craving something so natural and essential his unrest cannot be greed, but overwhelm, and Nat nods at his closed eyes, at his frowning face. 

"Okay baby." She whispers, and from there, it's almost easy to shush the voice in her head that tells her she doesn't get to have this, that Tony does not actually want it — the music doesn't stop at any point as she hesitates, and then goes through the motions of opening the top buttons of her night shirt. The music doesn't stop and JARVIS does not interrupt as Nat takes a deep breath that jostles Tony a bit, and lowers one cup of her bra to reveal her breast. It's swollen, the way it's meant to be. She's a caregiver, he's a little, and he needs this, and so she does too. Her nipple is pearling right at the tip, a white that's not quite fixed yet that it looks like milk instead of translucent water, and yet Tony's instincts kick in as soon as it's within reach of his lips. 

Natasha does not move a hair, does not dare breathe again either, because Tony's half-asleep frame is turning to curl against and around her midsection, and his hand doesn't know where to settle before it falls to her breast and stays there, just as his lips close around her leaking nipple. She can feel the other side of her bra getting steadily soaked, but it's the unsure, unused, yet familiar suck Tony gives that robs Natasha of her entire balance. He sucks at her nipple, he licks at her skin, he seeks, and she feeds him. 

She feeds him the milk she was always meant to gift him with, the sustenance he needs and the care they both crave, by nature, and by bond. 

"That's right sweetheart, that's right." She coos, trembling voice and hands alike as she pets his hair and slides an arm under his head and back to support him better. "You take what you need, baby." 

Maybe there will be long conversations — she doubts it — maybe there will be awkward staring and fleeing, clumsy explanations and more tumbling, and crashing with need — likely, so very likely — but for now, all is well and comfortable. All is beautiful and as it should be. Natasha feels fulfilled in a way nothing else has ever managed to make her feel, and Tony is finally sleeping a sleep that smoothens the lines on his face and the tremor of stress in his body. 

They are both at peace, with no one to disturb them, and the music is still playing quietly. 


End file.
